I’m writing about money. I feel like there are rules about writing about money. Mainly I have a loud voice in my head shouting “Stop! Too personal! People will judge you! Don’t do it!” So I am fighting against that voice because I think this is important. I think it will help me process our current situation and my ultimate goal is to give glory to God in the end.
So we are having a baby! Yes! If you want to know more about my pregnancy journey so far feel free to see my updates here on instagram. Baby girl Busch is due in early October. We are so very excited! I truly believe this is the child we prayed for. Especially because the cycle we conceived her my cycle day 1 was Christmas Day! Clearly not very happy at the time, but now I can look back and see how very much this is our baby.
Timing our pregnancy has always been in the forefront of our minds. I want to be a stay at home mom and my husband Tony is completing his bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering in December. We knew that if we became pregnant anytime last year that there was a great possibility that there would be a gap between baby being born and his graduation/starting work full time.
For the 3 years that we have been married, I have been the primary earner in our relationship. I have happily done so because I knew that one day we would switch and he would be the primary earner while I get to focus on our family and home. Thankfully because of Tony’s military service in the army, he does receive a monthly stipend and school is partially paid for. We have not had to take out any loans for his school (woot woot!). He has also taken on a paid internship at a local electric company, which has greatly helped our financial situation over the past 3 years. Unfortunately, we have not had the opportunity to save up much money and there have been some months this year that we have had to take out of our saving to make sure all bills were covered. #Stressful
Once we found out we were pregnant we decided that I would take my 12 week unpaid maternity leave to guarantee insurance coverage and at the end of that time see whether I needed to return to work or if Tony had a position lined up where we could be assured that I wouldn’t need to go back to work. Oh how the best laid plans get changed.
I found out 2 weeks ago that they are shutting down my office and as of August 31st I will be jobless. Insert panic! And oddly strange relief. Honestly, it takes me out of the position of being wish-washy with my company about my plans to return after my maternity leave and I am trying hard to believe that this is God’s way of caring for us. I was going to have an unpaid maternity leave and we were going to continue paying for insurance through my company. Now I have the opportunity to cash my PTO, have a severance, and possibly get unemployment. All unexpected sources of income for this time! I’m still trying to navigate this process and learn about my rights. Right now it seems like the trickiest part is figuring out insurance coverage…do we use COBRA? Apply for insurance on market place? Apply for state aid? Wah, too much adulting!!!
I should note we do have two sets of supportive parents who have offered to do as much as they can to help. And I appreciate that! I still feel super vulnerable! And worried. Honestly my biggest worry is insurance. Closely followed after that is the worry that people are judging us and thinking why did they get pregnant if they have tight finances. How irresponsible!
I fluctuate between my worry-prone self and my optimistic, God-trusting self. My God-trusting self is like, this is it! God loves to show how big and loving He is and you (Sarah) have had some struggles, but nothing like this before. God wants you to trust Him and rely on Him for your every need. He cares for you and Tony and little baby Busch. On good days I believe that we will have a great testimony to tell during “the gap” as I am affectionately calling it between my last day of work and when Tony graduates (August 31st and December 19th respectively).
So why am I putting my business out there? What’s wrong with me? I am worried about judgment right? Yes, very true and even as I push publish I have serious doubts, but I am doing this for two reasons. Selfishly in hopes that someone has gone through something similar or knows someone who has and can offer advice (there’s med student wives out there somewhere who got pregnant while their husbands were still in school right? Tell me all your secrets!). The second and most important reason is I want to be able to follow-up soon and tell you how good and big, strong and loving my God is! Because He is! He has never let me down. He holds me close and always has provided for me. I trust in you God and want to sing Your praises now and when we come out the other side of this. Amen!
So there it is. Our financial truth right now. I am looking forward to reporting back the practical side of what we do and the miraculous side of how God provides for us. Please pray for us, reserve any harsh comments, and send any advice our way.